scared and guilt ridden

monophonic to polyphony

a neat thing just happened to me. ever since i started composing multiple instrument scores, i've always had to use finale or some computer program in order to hear the different melodic parts that i composed individually fit together. I think it was because I would compose them individually then put them together. but that skill just clicked for me.

and it is like me in that it is awesome

Intimidating Green Can . . . for women

i've been 0WN3D


Click to see why I'm growing a beard

So a few days ago I'm in my Toyota with Kaitlyn, backing out of a Barns&Noble parking spot, when my cellphone rang. It was my mom. She was calling to tell me that she was at the library off of washington ave. and that I should meet her there to get $20 for a haircut and all of the toiletries that I had run out of. So Kait convinces me to actually go get a haircut instead of just spending the money elsewhere.

We go to the mall
walk into mastercuts
I get my haircut
we both agree it's not so hot
and that I look 11 yrs old
we leave the mall
and go buy cigarettes to celebrate
my head looking.... that way it does.

Which left me with $0.24 - obviously not enough for a can of sensitive-skin shaving cream or new razor blades... and I had the great idea tonight to shave.
I know that it's a bit odd to postup pictures of ones shaving-wounds online, but seriously - it's like keeping a picture of badluck that needs to be shared all to yourlonesome.

I still missed a spot on my chin... i think it will just have to stay that way

A Standard Recording Transmission

*****NIGHT OF THE LIVING HARLEY POE*****
If you’re within 100 miles of Indianapolis this Saturday (July 30),
you’re
coming to Key Cinemas (www.keycinemas.com). Oh, I hear you: “but I’ve
got
plans to go out with my friend John and we’re going to meet up with
Fillipe and
go down to Main and talk to this girl who said her friends blah blah
and so
forth” Guess what? The plans have changed and here’s why: We’re doing
a little
experimenting with the traditional concert format and combining live
music with
big screen theater. Harley Poe will be performing at Key Cinemas after
Activist! (w/ Christopher Thomas) opens the night. After the music
ends the
film begins and we’ll be showing Night Of The Living Dead on the big
screen.
Yes, the big screen. Did I mention it was the “big screen”? Did I
mention it
will be the original Night Of The Living Dead? Oh, did I mention that
all of
this is FREE? It all starts at 10pm.

It's so hot I could shoot a farmer

it seems that lately all i've been listening to is music with subtle sad overtones but nothing could be closer to saddness than me. Things are going good just as they should and all that runs through my mind is the memory of last night: looking up at the stars from the uncomfortable concrete, looking at her, then starting to fall away from reality. boom. sleep. That's all it's seemed like lately: good times and sleep. but that's a lie and I'm a liar because there haven't just been good times and great oldies. there's all this fighting going around with my family that's making me forget to pick up my cell phone when they call. but I'm just going to leave that burried in my basement and not really chat about it much.
Well i'm tired

He took the money and heard a bang bang bang

good times and quotes that are good good goood

"We didn't say too much on this particular night, but we said enough."

I didn't sleep last night

and I forgot my to-go box at the eating-place we ate at

I can't spell
or think

Shot in the Face

July 13, 2005

go to bed at 3am.
wake up at 6:50am
go to Tales and Scales Camp Imagination
make the noise "shhhh" with a finger to my lips more times than god
leave camp at 3pm
go back to house
immediately start practicing for a viola lesson at 7pm
(i had not practiced all week)
finally take shower at 6:30pm
go to viola lesson
do well on one song
attempt another song that I haven't spent nearly enough time on
- spark probably the 5th consecutive "you are not trying" (I.E. you're really pissing me off because I know you haven't spent more than a few hours on this) speach.
Leave viola lesson at 8pm

From after 8pm until about 4am I really can't remember. I know it most likely involved kaitlyn... or did it?
I'm pretty sure we went and got coffee
but that's around when my timeline breaks

July 14, 2005

Went back to my house around 12 or 1ish in the morning
Hung out with David until about 4am I think.
Woke up at 6:30ish
went to Tales and Scales.
Did I mention that there are over a hundred children from 5 - 13 years old at this camp?
Then never get tired.
Get out of camp around 3:10pm
Leave for Bloomington from camp.
get to Bloomington at 5:40pm
(the midterm I was going there for didn't start until 6pm)
asked person for directions at 5:45pm
Realized they gave me bad directions at 5:49pm
Called Emily B. at 5:50pm
Realized she told me to take a left where i needed to take a right at 5:53pm
Finally find someone who can direct me to this HUGE IU campus at 5:57pm
Park in a parking lot 6pm
Go into the Union to find someone to tell me how the hell to get to the building my exam is in at 6:02pm
Leave crowded Union at 6:04pm
Ask guy on his cell at 6:05pm
Call Emily B. back and ask her for directions at 6:07pm
Hang up with her and ask a group of 4 students where Wylie Hall is at 6:10pm
Realize they are a bunch of 'tards when I ask a prof. who points me in the opposite direction at 6:16pm
Get to Wylie Hall at 6:20pm
Walk into the exam room at 6:23pm
Start my exam at 6:26pm
End my exam at 7:30pm

It didn't go well. I started rambling in my responses and ran out of time with 1 more essay to write.

7:45pm - find internet access and beg my prof. to retake the exam.

Start driving back at 7:58pm
End up in a CD store at 8:10pm
Actually leave Bloomington and start my way back to Evil 9ish pm
Arrive back in Evil 12:37am

I don't know how I am typing

fuck aims

motherfuckgoddamnitBOOM
and there were bits of friends scattered all over the parking lot
and the roof
all spread apart

Her main Asshole

I just put my brother to bed with a kiss on his cheek and pat on his head. He's here two weeks before he's being sent off to Iraq.
He had to pay for college somehow.
It's all rubbish and ironic that now he's going to be facing the reality of all the video games he's spent countless hours playing.
We beat Time Splitters: Future Perfect tonight.
Good game.
Well, I'll turn to better news
which is that Kaitlyn and I experienced something amazing tonight
we went to Starbucks
and were able to secure not only a FREE blueberry muffin
but also, instead of a tall, a GRANDE white hot chocolate.
It's official, we rock more than Iraq

Tonight was amazing
Free Starbucks junk
VHS of a zombie movie (28 Days Later) halfway watched
and all day with my homegirl
-sweet

2:53am now
I have ankle-biting fun with 10 & 11 yr olds at camp imagination from 6:30am-something later than 4pm (counting shower time in the morning).
Yessss.

I guess this day had to end sometime.

On the Record

Fuck CNN for exploiting sex offenders for ratings.

People can do horrible things, but so can the public when they treat those people as monsters.

"he's second-hand drunk!"

I think I've been around way too many inebriated people this week because I'm feeling a bit like an asshole. Never get drunk around me because I'm the type of friend who will offer you more glasses of wine or whatever you're on because being bored and around intoxicated people only askes for a person with a horrible sense of humor to play horrible jokes.
Well, i'm going to practice now for basically the first time in 3 weeks.

phone calls at 4 in the morning...

...that i didn't get because I've found a set of lips better than cigarettes and that's fine by me because I'd rather smell of anything than ash. Happy birthday, america. I'm sorry I don't give a damn because unlike me, you don't really give so much of a shit about the smelling of ash part. It's seems like that's all you seem to be indulging in, America. It seems that's all you've ever tried not to quit. So just wait and pace in a place well lighted. America, you are the only thing I can't wait to hear die, and I know that's a horrible thing to say, but it's horrible actions that bring about horrible words and allow horrible people try to justify themselves.

happy 4th of july...

Why haven't we cared to count?


“This contained all the foreign aid and medical instruments we had. All the US military commanders knew this, because we told them about it so they wouldn’t bomb it. But this was one of the clinics bombed, and in the first week of the siege they bombed it two times.”

La La La La. This isn't happening. la la l a l...

i don't know. I found my boomerang in the park, and then came back here and decided to look up horrible things that the people saying they're in power have done.
I think it's a bum rap how the majority of the public and most of the political pundits see people who get behind little cared about causes as activists - people who are picky. I know that's how i saw them, and I consider myself average in this here town...
well, I'm going to learn how to hit people with this boomerang now, thanks to:
Boomerang Association of Australia

BVD Rangs

boomerangs.org

FLYING FROG

Digital Boomerang Systems

WHISHHBONE BOOMERANGS (what's up with boomerang pages and annoying music playing?)

JD Sport.com

aamiel@etud.insa-tlse.fr (this person's website)

yesss...

shit out your mouth

lately i've been constipated with ideas. I just can't pull the trigger and vomit out the aray of stuff i've been thinking.... just writing this junk is taking time. I guess it's because of late I've been "the secretive type. I speak under my breath to be polite (i'm talking about you)," but I can't really say why, which makes me nervous and unable to sleep two days in a row. I lost my boomerang last night at Sunset Park, which reminds me that I need to go look for it - right now.

wait.

where did time go?

>_<