Flat Tires

When it all went south, I set out on a search.
One for a new philosophy,
and ended up with "all women are whores,
except for our mothers and sisters."
And it suited me.
For a bit, I was waking up next to different
hookers that probably didn't matter very much
and was very fine with this.
We made sex on the day her grandfather died.
Sat and drank coffee and soda outside a coffee hut
on the coldest day I'd ever experienced in April.
And now, it's time to hit the road again
for a state that deals more with how reality actually coincides with
existence, instead of how I want reality to be in order
to fix my mind.

You're Gonna Carry That Weight.

Where'd the good go?
Jesus. I don't know what chemicals my body is lacking to keep me
soaking in this tub of regret.
I feel like most of what influences the decisions I make is boredom.
I can't shake this total listlessness toward everything. It's bothering the hell out of me.



Here we go.

Meat Breakfast

4/22/08/
Live eviL
Imagine a world without fences where you got
umm yeah, where you have this group of people on this side,
and this group of people over here,
and they are nothing alike and know about each other
and are perfectly cool.
Naw, naw, that's a bunch of bullshit.
But for real now.
Imagine the most amazingly disgusting shade of green, pond scum.
Got it?
That is what I had to wade around in for the last five hours
working for the city which, oddly enough, translates into working
for Burdette Park.
I don't want to move. All I want to do is bitch about how much I ache.
Fuck.
I found the most amazing place in Evil. It's so cool that it's not even in Evil.
I also got around 150 pictures that I need to post up but later. I don't want to stay at Pennylane that long.

4/15/08
Stumble, stumble, slip, trip
Bang bang diggidy
Bobby woke up the other day and realized that it's not that he couldn't get out of the bed in his basement room, it's that he didn't want to. Didn't want to go to work; called in. Didn't want to talk to friends; broke his phone. Didn't want to do anything.
I saw him the other day in an attempt to keep guessing what happened
and he just smiled and said to me
"It's all okay. It'll all be great."
Kitty Wompuss got the cold shoulder.
Fuck, what a year.
Now, it's right back where it was.
Except now I can get a bit higher.

Dispatches From the Dirty Mid-West

Never Give Up. Never Give In

After thousands and thousands of years of being mined, pillaged, and generally fucked over, Earth couldn't take it anymore and, once again, shook in frustration.
I woke up this morning thinking that some asshole was shaking my car. So I lifted my head up, looked around, and immediately fell back asleep. I think pretty much everyone reacted that way.
Bills are mounting up again. Is it funny that this made up thing we call currency takes priority over the round lifeform we live off of?
And just now, not five minutes ago, I was going through My Documents and found underwear pictures of Angelia's 12 year old daughter. Why? I'm all for pictures of naked people, but Jesus. Little kids trying to be sexy just makes me hate sex, and I really enjoy the sport.

"Love Me"

It was the summer of 1995. We were all sailing through the sandy dunes of Arizona, and no - Sting was not there. Our motorcycle gang went through this ghost town with only one pub, so we decided to stop in and see what the problem was. Half way through the fourth hour a wheeled stretch-car rolled through the town and to the pub. Inside marched a very small, proud man by the name of Zacharia Stokes. It was obvious that the man was President of Stokes Motorcycles. After maybe too many drinks he let our small group of hardened fucks on to what the situation was. It was late in the game and the hovercraft kids were making a play for the whole shibang. So here we were.
And here I am.

Business Arangements

When you get outside the air
feels so nice. And when your camera works, everything encompassed in that air looks more interesting.
I remember that last night Battle was in town. Fuck, it's like some depressing recount by an emotional bastard. I had a cold and lots of medicine that comes with it. Mix that belly with a bit of beer and it gets interesting real quick. Simple humiliations become hilarious.
But then at the end of the night, it seems like we missed the point.

Root Canal

"That was the best wipe-out. You didn't even cry."
Warm beer
Jeffrey Lewis is a marathon runner in my head.
Time slows to a slant stop. It's snowing today.
Laying back in the chair today, watching the television mounted in the ceiling, I felt an odd sense of relaxation. Now my face is all numbed up and I have a bunch of way cool drugs they thought I should have.
Now I'm sitting in this computer chair, my ass turning to cottage cheese
wondering how to get a day out.

¿Quien mierda eres?

What can you do with a camera that doesn't work?
I have to work for the city again tomorrow. Fun shit.
We scouted out some buildings.
Richie, Jeff, and I all went down to the river today,
drank in the sun and flew kites.
Ever want to go to bed, but you can't stop watching some Showtime
show?
I need a grappling-hook.

Humans!

Sponsor a Zombie

Sponsor a Zombie from Harvey J. Wallbanger on Vimeo.

Judah... I tried

One gonna heal my body another gonna heal my pain
One gonna settle me down then bring me back up again
I’m gonna put my family back together again
It turns out that, despite the problem, watching videos of people having sex
drinking a lot of beer, playing video games, and listening to nothing but NPR-
all constantly on a set of noise canceling headphones- does not fix anything.
I could have sworn to God that the porno would have worked.
One gonna hold my woman another gonna hold my job
One gonna help me get up, another gonna help me stop
One gonna help me talk right, one gonna lay me down to sleep
It's exhausting, keeping up contempt; hanging out in the back of your mind
reminding you of what you hate. Honestly, it's been done, so what's there to do.
It's all okay, but it's just exhausting - change.
One gonna hold my thoughts and another gonna hold my bones
One gonna keep me warm and another gonna keep me cold
One gonna bring religion, right from a Coleman stove
Battle's doing fine, except for the obvious.
They're 'loud something ekil a ruof yad ssap siht emit dnuora.
tib a pleh dluohs taht os
One gonna help me keep em’ another gonna help me tame
One gonna run me down (Hell a bullets in my way)
You’re gonna keep my soul it was yours to have long ago
ylrae pu gnikaw dna etal deb ot gniog neeb ve'I, keew a ni tpels t'nevah I ekil sleef tI
peels t'nac tsuj I .ti pleh ot elba neeb yllaer t'nevaH
I’m gonna buckle my belt around the ceiling pipe
I’m gonna buckle my knees and I’m gonna lock em’ up tight
I’m gonna hold a pen while you drag my arm across the page
But maybe it's just like the redevelopment of skin.
daeh eht no niks tnrub-nus dlab ehT
One gonna hold my memories another gonna close the door
One gonna leave me restless another wanting more
You’re gonna keep my soul it was yours to have long ago

1st point is that of no return

The seatbelt warning light comes on my dash
even though it worked, but the heat keeps me warm.
Make up splashed across the eyes and
the hair to cover up the years that don't show
Battle doesn't need to worry about the bullocks
he's a technical 'chinegunna scout.
Getting past the failure means understanding the party
decisions that don't make them happy but
content. Content in their misery, happiness, frustration,
whatthefuckever. How can you argue against that?
Get out of the plane mid-flight and let it fall where ever.
It's my G-Unit's 92nd today. She sat at the end of the table while
the rest of us got drunk and argued.
Barely said word.
I know what I did wrong now,
For some reason I just miss that family feeling of going there
at night and seeing her and the kiddo.
and some self-hating part of me wants to go back and try to explain
my position. The point of no return,
the fist point of getting past this manic state-
laughing, mourning, and being too normal to feel, all constantly.
Stumbling out of the movie theater today, they gray sky felt like a ceiling.
The kind that won't let you grow. So I
went home and broke all the trophies I'd ever won.
All kids eventually grow out of their room.
Fuckshit, what was I thinking; way too caught up in the moment in my head.
Jesus, I was at the fucked up point of worrying about paying for a 1st car for her and supporting the homestead in three years.
Unwelcomed, premature ejaculated relationships.