stocks and bombs

i am glad that everything that happened did.
so i will not dwell on it.
enough with my personal-personal life?
yep.

the last week or so has been fairly redundant: work, eat, sleep, fuck around.
I've found myself spending most of the time I am at work not working but rather looking for schools and other things that interest me on the interweb, such as:
Puma stuff - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
I'm going to take another stand and say that I am going to quit smoking. Not because of the health benifits of doing so but because my lungs are really hurting and I am becoming sick everytime I do it.
Geeze, I wish there was more than one table here. More and more when I come in to work I find myself asking myself why I am even there. The number of tables that come in really don't require more than one waiter being here, and right now, there are two. I can't wait until our alcohol license comes. Then getting drunk after work with the boss will become a thing again, and that was fun.

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Chinua Achebe scraped truth with his title

couldn't sleep.
took a morning bike ride over to the apartment
found things bothering to stephen
talked.
took a mourning bike ride back to the hotel.

i feel like i am on suspension.

got scared so "i tied a noose and swung to safety"

options

i don't really know where to go with this.
what i do know is that for the first time in our relationship i am weighing my options.
unseriously-frantically.
it's not because of what little things that happened to make me outraged,
but because i didn't feel that i could communicate them to her while she was drunk
or if i'll be able to in the morning aftermath
that's why i smiled as i left the apartment... our apartment.
would it be easier just to cut and go, irrationally
or to stay and say i was disappointedhurtangeredNOpissedoff-
no.
frustrated.
my steeling wheel is dented in and my knuckles are sore.
i can't sleep.
aided by the fact that my dad is snoring
i am in a hotel room and not my home

i don't really know