your panics are charming

paranoia in every direction.
weeding out suspicion

"the fall festival = a human dumpster" - Kyle O

The other night we went to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. As soon as the news of it happening was remembered, we got in the damn car and rode like bats out of hell toward the nearest Goodwill. Upon pulling into the parking lot we drove in and cornered the Wassermuler. It was a god thing we did or he would never have worn that onesy. All in short, we were ridiculously beautiful - beautifully ridiculous.
What could we do?
What should anyone do in such a position of grandeur? Really.
The only possible solution to such awesomeness is to trip, fall, land on your face, and eat that goddamn cake.
So we did.

Run outside so fast that you go back in time to four years ago.
Back to that time when you had your first taste of true frustration,
when you weren't so jaded to the fact that you will try hard and it will not work out every time in your advantage.
So back in that time all you had to do was go to school; go home; and go to concerts.
The routine alone was enough to be too much, but the naivety held when you happen upon being 16 keeps the checks in balance, and this remains a constant until you one day show up too early to something and have time to sit and think. And, when you finish thinking you've come up with an idea. So you propose this idea to the friend you showed up too early with, and this friend is the type of good friend to go with ideas that come about when you're realizing that sometimes you have to do something to release the frustration.

Bang

Reset


Show your feelings while wearing make up and high heels and run with them - backwards for miles just to show your strength. Strung out, naked, and desperate. Track marks all up your arms. Don't pretend and don't think it's real.
Cau....

*Snap*
These two guys just drove past me and yelled "nerd."

man, i drank so much coffee and i'm still just trying to stop being jittery and irrational.

Worst Month in Time

September has not been so great.
I lost $80 on the first day of it.
Trips were canceled.
Other stuff happened.
Relationships went wrong.
I was hired and fired before I started working at a new job.
And I was mugged last night.

That's about the sum of it.

Monkey Wrench

The way I would categorize the last few weeks is a series of failures. Not all of them were huge failures, but some were, which made all of the others, at the time, seem monumental as well. So I'm planning a trip. I think that every time there is a series of trip-ups, set-backs, or just fuck-ups, a holiday should be quickly organized and executed. With this last set of problems, being so many with so little time between them happening, I've decided to take a bit longer of a holiday a bit farther away - New York.

So... about this city i live in...

I've taken to stealing Wi-Fi, but there isn't any in my apt. building. I went to the bar down the street from my house to get on there, but then realized that they only have one cable line for the entire hotel. I had an excellent connection, but was going at the speed of shit. Now, I'm sitting about a block away from the bar on this enclosed stoop behind the Cambridge Arms Apt.s. It's really hot outside.
I really want to move to Bloomington. It seems that ever since I got back 10 hours ago Evil's been tripping up in all the worst ways. So I think that since I can't get anyone to take my lease, and I probably won't have a place to crash until March, maybe, I'll just make constant pilgrimages up there. I think everyone I know up there had it right in realizing the potential damage staying in Evil could cause.

piss it.
it's way too warm!
Off to bed.

"What are you doing?! We do not eat apricots in the armored personnel carriers!" Daddy Lang

TOday i was out watching the flock of humming birds that have set up shop in my father's backyard. He's set up quite the collection of feeders with extra sugary nectar. It reminded me of the time when I was seven - my friend Cameron and I were in the ally-way behind the backyard of the house I grew up in playing with BB guns. I saw a humming bird, took aim and shot it to both of our surprise. It seemed to float down from the power line it perched on like a leaf. That was the first time I realized the gravity of death - how it reduces you to an object from a being....

Damn it. It must be the cold fronts coming in causing me to recollect on all of this downer bullshit. I am on holiday. Fuck all of this rubbish about life and death because right now it's irrelevant to my situation. Whoooha! Fiesta!