patients

If you ever find yourdelf in an office setting at a job you don't really care about, then here are some useful hints that will help you pass the time and keep you from constantly thinking about how much you job sucks and how stupid most of the people around you are.

1. Get in good with the IT guys. You'll eventually notice that the website blocks from your computer have been removed.

2. Keep a copy of Sun Tzu's Art of War on your desk. This will keep your supervisors from speaking above you because you read the same dumb books they've read.

3. Bring a small sized slinky to work. Practice with it. Soon, you'll be able to sling it across the room with enough precision to knock over a co-worker's coffee cup. This move is hilarious, but not very time consuming.

4. Bring G.I. Joes to work and act out sit-coms with them. This is kind of entertaining at best, but also sends a clear message to your co-workers: "yes, I still play with these, but that fact alone makes me a little weird."
Stupid people don't like mildly weird people = you don't have to talk to stupid people all day.

5. Bring an ipod or zune to work with you. Runb the head phonem¤¤mmnn|||nnnnn|mnnnnnnpxfc
Kk

hilarity

For the past few weeks I've stopped being afraid of the words "you're fired."
Mainly, it's because I know that my job will never be important. This job will never be anything more than a pay check and a distraction.
So, I've personified this concept. I've stopped shaving. I speak to people the same way I would speak with anyone that I just met. I call coworkers racist for giggles.
I am in fact wearing house slippers at work right now.

So today, my boss took me into one of the conference rooms for a one on one meeting.
He suggested that I take part in the leadership intern program - a management position.

I knew if I watched office space enough times, it would come true...