CBebopEp26:"Bang"

Right after I got to work, my chest started feeling tight. There wasn't anything wrong with me. I've been exercising every morning, eating well, only drinking every once in a while. So, in my mind, I'm a picture of health, which is why I was bothered by the punching sensation. I grabbed some Advil from the liquor cabinet, but they had a gelatin coating, so no avail. By that point I was feeling worse off, so I skipped out to the bathroom. I was training that night anyway. Once I got in the bathroom, I stood to catch my composure and it hit.

Money; future; school; family friends whatwouldievenmajorintheapartmenthowlongwillibeat thisjobidon'twanttobeoneofthose50somethingsstillworkingateenagejobwhydoesn'tshelove
mewillanyonewilliletanyonewhyamIaveganifit'snotgoingtomakeadamndifferenceamithetypeof
personwhocanmakeadifferenceilovedhersomuchwhydidthishappenallthosethingssaidseemlike
stupidliesbutibelievedsohardthattheyweretruefuckthistown'sgottogobutmovement'srelativeican't
keepdeliveringthisbutifistopthenican'tpaymybillshowdidigrowupalittleboyfromkansasandnowi'm
speedingoffshittorandomstrangerswhendidthishappenitdoesn'tseemrightitdoesn'tseemrightbut
that'showitisfuckhowcanigetoutofthisthisfeelingthisplaceineedanescapeplanfuckthere'snotan
immediatefixtoanyofthisrubbishi'mstuckfornowi'mstucki'mstuck

boom

vision loss

Here's to health care and the box of chalk that I've been waking up next to night after night in a parking space on the top floor of the garage I practice on. Rolling over our naked bodies on a rooftop with out walls, so caught up in the moment that we both couldn't catch ourselves before the fall. Off the side, five stories. There was blood in both our eyes, and the smell of ground pepper in the air. Fireworks stuck in the sky and a hundred million plastic skeletons hanging in the trees across the street from the house I grew up in.

white noise

When I woke up, I was on the floor and my eyes were blinking 12:00. I had hit my head on the handy-cap rails on the wall by the toilet. Someone was knocking on the door. I got up and felt okay again, wiped the blood off my nose, and I went back on.