deleted numbers and am ready to move on

i have a number of over due books at the library. this is not a suprise because it is envidence of my tactic against things that bother me: procrastiation. i'd like to blame that trait for so many other things. Like, when i'm angry at, or in converse, have feelings for, someone, and i don't tell them even after may a resolve to do so. that's not procrastiation but insecurity over what might happen. lame lame lame. so i just fester around like a fish on the floor and get pissed at them as a way for the building up frustration inside of me to escape through a secondary vent. I delete their phone numbers, and they never know what's going on.