just another conversation i'm writing down to remember laughs in a time when there really aren't any
Session Start (seppuku646:Axulviar): Wed Jan 04 10:08:09 2006
[10:08] seppuku646: so i guess you didn't stay up
[10:08] Axulviar: yeah i did
[10:08] *** Auto-response sent to Axulviar: sleep
[10:08] Axulviar: i've been here all night
[10:08] Axulviar: at the computer
[10:08] seppuku646: i just called your phone
[10:08] Axulviar: oh, it must be in the other room
[10:09] seppuku646: ohh
[10:09] Axulviar: i haven't even left my room all night
[10:09] Axulviar: hold on a sec
[10:09] seppuku646: sooo comics?
[10:09] Axulviar: what time is your lesson?
[10:09] seppuku646: 4
[10:10] Axulviar: how about in like 2 or 3 hours?
[10:10] seppuku646: i don't think ill be able to
[10:10] seppuku646: it'll be too close to my lesson
[10:10] Axulviar: i'm about to watch unleashed, then i have some porn to download, then i think i have a small child in line to kill
[10:10] Axulviar: oh, you need to practice?
[10:10] seppuku646: yes
[10:10] Axulviar: how about say around 11:30 then?
[10:11] seppuku646: okay
[10:11] Axulviar: k, i'll give you a call
[10:11] seppuku646: sweet
[10:11] seppuku646: how about you be at my house at 11
[10:11] seppuku646: 1130
[10:11] Axulviar: k
[10:11] Axulviar: 11:30 i will walk in and shoot you in the ass
[10:12] Axulviar: with my rifle
[10:12] Axulviar: man that stung
[10:12] seppuku646: i really didn't mean to shoot you in the ass
[10:12] Axulviar: i know
[10:12] Axulviar: i dont' really care
[10:12] seppuku646: isn't it funny how things work out
[10:13] Axulviar: but i'm going to keep bringing it up because it's a good story about how stupid we are
[10:13] Axulviar: yeah
[10:13] seppuku646: and how we suck at sight settings
[10:13] Axulviar: lol, yeah
[10:13] seppuku646: or maybe that's just how we are in life
[10:13] Axulviar: probably
[10:16] seppuku646: so i'll see yoiu in a few.
[10:16] Axulviar: ok
[10:16] Axulviar: later man
Session Close (Axulviar): Wed Jan 04 10:16:38 2006
Session Start (seppuku646:Axulviar): Wed Jan 04 10:17:37 2006
[10:17] seppuku646: so wait
[10:17] Axulviar: huh?
[10:17] *** Auto-response sent to Axulviar: sleep
[10:17] seppuku646: you'll be at my house at 1130?
[10:17] Axulviar: yeah
[10:18] seppuku646: YESSS
[10:18] Axulviar: why?
[10:18] seppuku646: just wondering
[10:18] Axulviar: no
[10:18] Axulviar: why?
[10:18] Axulviar: there is ALWAYS a reason for a big YESSS
[10:19] seppuku646: because i wanted you to be here at 1130 so we can get comics earlier which means i can come back to my house earlier and start practicing earlier
[10:19] seppuku646: so basically
[10:19] seppuku646: because of earlier
[10:19] seppuku646: boom
[10:19] Axulviar: haha
[10:19] Axulviar: k
[10:19] Axulviar: 11:30
[10:19] seppuku646: yess
[10:19] Axulviar: now since i dont' have time for a movie
[10:19] Axulviar: i have porn to download
[10:20] Axulviar: later
Session Close (Axulviar): Wed Jan 04 10:20:16 2006
having nothing to do with the conversation between Mark and i.
i'm still not very sure why i decided to go ahead and drop my handful of the sky that, in chinese culture, idealistically, kaitlyn and i were supposed to be holding up together, but i've been told - and subscribe to this line of reason for the time being - that if there is any confusion about why you are in a relationship and whether or not you like the other party in that way which entails intimacy, then you should pull away; that it is better for the two to be separate when one is unsure because to be together with half not solid in their commitment is like being together and having the whole disfigured. Conversely though, it could be said that the two parties, in their symbiotic relationship act more in accordance with the rules of tofu. That when one party becomes confused about their feelings in the matter - in a sense, losing their flavor - the two should not separate themselves but come closer together in order for the party who lost their taste to regain it through association of the one who still feels the attachment quite vividly. Right now i am hard-pressed to know where i stand. I'm still not sure if i made the right decision. I do know that it would have made things worse to keep being together and not knowing, but I don't know if pulling away was throwing something away either. I'm sad that she is sad. But as a reflection on ending the relationship, i'm still listless on whether to be glad or miserable, and with no one to talk to about it, i'm just caring less and less because that's how i do with things that hurt. I'm sure closure will come sooner or, more likely, later, though. Maybe a rewrite or a threewrite down the road, but like this, i think "who knows."
[10:08] seppuku646: so i guess you didn't stay up
[10:08] Axulviar: yeah i did
[10:08] *** Auto-response sent to Axulviar: sleep
[10:08] Axulviar: i've been here all night
[10:08] Axulviar: at the computer
[10:08] seppuku646: i just called your phone
[10:08] Axulviar: oh, it must be in the other room
[10:09] seppuku646: ohh
[10:09] Axulviar: i haven't even left my room all night
[10:09] Axulviar: hold on a sec
[10:09] seppuku646: sooo comics?
[10:09] Axulviar: what time is your lesson?
[10:09] seppuku646: 4
[10:10] Axulviar: how about in like 2 or 3 hours?
[10:10] seppuku646: i don't think ill be able to
[10:10] seppuku646: it'll be too close to my lesson
[10:10] Axulviar: i'm about to watch unleashed, then i have some porn to download, then i think i have a small child in line to kill
[10:10] Axulviar: oh, you need to practice?
[10:10] seppuku646: yes
[10:10] Axulviar: how about say around 11:30 then?
[10:11] seppuku646: okay
[10:11] Axulviar: k, i'll give you a call
[10:11] seppuku646: sweet
[10:11] seppuku646: how about you be at my house at 11
[10:11] seppuku646: 1130
[10:11] Axulviar: k
[10:11] Axulviar: 11:30 i will walk in and shoot you in the ass
[10:12] Axulviar: with my rifle
[10:12] Axulviar: man that stung
[10:12] seppuku646: i really didn't mean to shoot you in the ass
[10:12] Axulviar: i know
[10:12] Axulviar: i dont' really care
[10:12] seppuku646: isn't it funny how things work out
[10:13] Axulviar: but i'm going to keep bringing it up because it's a good story about how stupid we are
[10:13] Axulviar: yeah
[10:13] seppuku646: and how we suck at sight settings
[10:13] Axulviar: lol, yeah
[10:13] seppuku646: or maybe that's just how we are in life
[10:13] Axulviar: probably
[10:16] seppuku646: so i'll see yoiu in a few.
[10:16] Axulviar: ok
[10:16] Axulviar: later man
Session Close (Axulviar): Wed Jan 04 10:16:38 2006
Session Start (seppuku646:Axulviar): Wed Jan 04 10:17:37 2006
[10:17] seppuku646: so wait
[10:17] Axulviar: huh?
[10:17] *** Auto-response sent to Axulviar: sleep
[10:17] seppuku646: you'll be at my house at 1130?
[10:17] Axulviar: yeah
[10:18] seppuku646: YESSS
[10:18] Axulviar: why?
[10:18] seppuku646: just wondering
[10:18] Axulviar: no
[10:18] Axulviar: why?
[10:18] Axulviar: there is ALWAYS a reason for a big YESSS
[10:19] seppuku646: because i wanted you to be here at 1130 so we can get comics earlier which means i can come back to my house earlier and start practicing earlier
[10:19] seppuku646: so basically
[10:19] seppuku646: because of earlier
[10:19] seppuku646: boom
[10:19] Axulviar: haha
[10:19] Axulviar: k
[10:19] Axulviar: 11:30
[10:19] seppuku646: yess
[10:19] Axulviar: now since i dont' have time for a movie
[10:19] Axulviar: i have porn to download
[10:20] Axulviar: later
Session Close (Axulviar): Wed Jan 04 10:20:16 2006
having nothing to do with the conversation between Mark and i.
i'm still not very sure why i decided to go ahead and drop my handful of the sky that, in chinese culture, idealistically, kaitlyn and i were supposed to be holding up together, but i've been told - and subscribe to this line of reason for the time being - that if there is any confusion about why you are in a relationship and whether or not you like the other party in that way which entails intimacy, then you should pull away; that it is better for the two to be separate when one is unsure because to be together with half not solid in their commitment is like being together and having the whole disfigured. Conversely though, it could be said that the two parties, in their symbiotic relationship act more in accordance with the rules of tofu. That when one party becomes confused about their feelings in the matter - in a sense, losing their flavor - the two should not separate themselves but come closer together in order for the party who lost their taste to regain it through association of the one who still feels the attachment quite vividly. Right now i am hard-pressed to know where i stand. I'm still not sure if i made the right decision. I do know that it would have made things worse to keep being together and not knowing, but I don't know if pulling away was throwing something away either. I'm sad that she is sad. But as a reflection on ending the relationship, i'm still listless on whether to be glad or miserable, and with no one to talk to about it, i'm just caring less and less because that's how i do with things that hurt. I'm sure closure will come sooner or, more likely, later, though. Maybe a rewrite or a threewrite down the road, but like this, i think "who knows."
posted by NoobJenkins at 11:17 AM
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